I was seventeen, walking in the same direction as a friend. She was heading to University, which was opposite to where I lived. She was studying Philosophy at Uni, and I remember we talked about Perception and how beauty, wealth, and success were relative to a person’s knowledge and experience of the world.
I have often thought of this conversation and wonder why it has remained so clear in my memories. I guess because they were new ideas to me at the time, like a whole new way of thinking had been introduced to me, things that had seemed so fixed became blurred, bendable, and empowering. I imagined what a fantastic thing it would be to change a person’s Perception in a way that would help them find fulfilment in their lives.
Life is not that straightforward though, for a start, the world has opened up since then; the internet and communication through social media mean the comparison pool is now on a global scale rather than localised. Success, beauty, wealth are measured on virtual platforms, no longer with the containment of personal knowledge and experience of the world but measured against questionable sources -not everything is as it seems.
Thinking back to my seventeen-year self, I also realise how naïve I was. The only perception it is possible to change is your own. It is not possible to change another person, their perception, or anything else about them -I feel like expanding on that to explain what I mean.
I am not saying that our relationships and experiences with other people do not influence us or make us the people we are. I am saying the change from them comes from within and from our interpretation of those relationships.
Life works very well when the way that we have learned to experience the world works to our advantage, enabling us to live fulfilled and meaningful lives, but what happens when it doesn’t, when a person’s life makes them feel like something is missing?
Living a life that does not feel authentic erodes well-being. Feeling stuck in life can reduce confidence, leads to anxiety and stress. Life can be messy, relationships can be messy, evolve, and what once worked very well may not produce the same desirable results now. It is not always clear what is not working or even what has changed. So many people spend their lives feeling like this, unhappy and stuck, because just knowing that you are living your life in a way that does not make you happy is not enough to change it.
The very first step is that you decide that you do want to change. It involves working on transparency in the areas of your life that you do not find fulfilling, exploring how much they mean to you and how motivated you are to put the effort in to change them. The next stage is clarity around what outcome you want and how committed you are to achieving it. You will then need to decide what actions you will take to achieve the result you are looking for and, of course, follow through with resilience and determination.
No one can do this work for you, only you, your life, your Perception, your authentic self, but the great thing is a Life Coach can help you get there. Through empowering and challenging conversation, a life coach will help you gain transparency in the areas of your life where you feel stuck. They will coach you to clarify the actions that will be necessary to achieve the outcome that you want to happen.
Working with a Life coach will help empower you to make positive changes to move from where you are now in life to where you want to be!